


Stranger

by halleson37



Series: Sad Songs [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Music, noah and the whale, sad song, sleeping with a stranger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halleson37/pseuds/halleson37
Summary: Ian regrets his decision to sleep with a stranger. He regrets leaving Mickey behind. One shot based on the song "Stranger" by Noah and the Whale.





	Stranger

Ian looked down at the blond resting his head on his chest, he didn't even know the guys name. 

_ Last night I slept with a stranger. For the first time, since you've gone. _

He looked back up at the ceiling, feeling lost and alone despite the man next to him.

_ Regretfully lying naked, I reflect on what I've done. His leg still forced in between mine, sticking to my skin. Stroking my chest and my hair, head resting below my chin. _

He wanted to run, but he didn't know where. He wanted to be with the guy he had left behind bars. But he was to cowardly to wait, to wait for his soulmate. So he filled the space with no names and nothings.

_ I'm a fox trapped in the headlights, and I'm waiting for the tires to spin over me. _

He had ruined everything, left Mickey when he needed him the most, needed him to wait. But he was selfish. He regretted this, the guy lying next to him. But there was no going back, no taking back the fact that he ran, ran just like his mother did.

_ Cos everything I love has gone away. Oh, cos everything I love has gone away. _

He tried closing his eyes again, but the boy tangled with him felt all wrong. He could not get away from the fact that it was not Mickey, no matter how hard he wished.

_ Oh the dark night is moving slower, and sleep won't rescue me. Leaving me here to suffer, this shameful misery. _

He pictured Mickey, he was probably alone and scared in his own bed, but unable to go anywhere. Trapped in prison without him, taped feeling like Ian had deserted him, denied his love, the love that was so hard to show.

_ So I long for a taste of freedom, or at least freedom from this bed. _

He slowly got up, carefully removing the limbs that laid across him, searching in the dark for his discarded clothes. Searching in his heart for redemption that was not there.

_ Silently picking up my clothes, I turn on my heels and I fled. _

The street was cold, and dark despite the streetlights. Lonely cabs passing by as he walked towards home, the home that was lonely and didn't understand. The home he wanted was with Mickey, he wanted to walk in the door and see him smiling, hold him tight. But Ian had fucked that up forever.

_ And the dark of the street, is no solace to me. Oh and I don't believe my conscience, will ever be clear again. _

He rode the train home, his skin smelling of sex with the stranger he would never learn the name of. The stranger that meant nothing, only trying to fill the space that could never really be complete without Mickey.

_ Cos everything I love has gone away. Oh, cos everything I love has gone away. _

Maybe one day he would forgive himself, maybe one day Mickey would too. One day they could both look back on this and love each other all over again. But that seemed impossible because Ian was selfish, he would never be able to give the love Mickey deserved, what he asked for.

_ You know in a year, it's gonna be better. You know in a year, I'm gonna be happy. _


End file.
